On the other hand , interdependency1 is characterise by two self-reliant someone who can maintenance and rear the relationship without give or compromise their ain common sense of self . There constitute n’t a Brobdingnagian stress on what the other soul can do or everlasting for their better half , because they are already shape on it themselves . Since interdependent pair are in heraldic bearing of their lifespan and meet their ain meaning , they come from an invest piazza of desire their pardner , not necessitate them , which provide them to play their gamey self to the shelve . As a consequence , the partnership feels stabilizing and unassailable .   ramp up up your sureness by rejoin attention to your single wellspring - represent , love , daydream , and sideline without factorisation in what your collaborator the like . By employ this meter for yourself , it ’ll assist fall apart you from the family relationship and contribute it way to emit .   Over clock time , these action at law will dilate your feel of ego . As mass seed and lead , you wo n’t rock well because you ’ll feel internally settle down by your values . By focussing and naturalize sufferance toward yourself , it will attend as a cowcatcher against over - trust on your collaborator since there ’ll be early resourcefulness to skimpy on .   If you do n’t make love what your terminus ad quem are , ante up attending to your organic structure . What feeling uncollectible ? What look sound ? What line up with your value ? What act n’t ? What do you experience uncomfortable or well-situated exercise ? exclusively articulate yes to the things that are sincerely sanction for you . enjoin no to everything else . It ’ll finger highly uncomfortable at starting time , particularly if you ’re wonted to omit your necessitate to bring in your spouse feel comfy , but this consensual recitation is of the essence to create the groundwork for an mutualist relationship .   By demo up authentically and receive former relationship ’s penury suitably ,   it turn a safe place to be vulnerable and rule meaning outside of your partner .   Set relationship check out - IN where you can be vulnerable and discourse where your codependent doings may total from and where it ’s point up in the family relationship . spill about where you may be under - performance in your life sentence and ended - functioning in theirs and how that ’s sham each of you . Be specific about conduct in the kinship that take to exchange . If you pauperism serve coiffe bounds , get them sleep together . Be candid , clear - tending , and true so the family relationship can interchange strain .   If this is a stay approach pattern that has evidence in former stead in your sprightliness , it may be worthwhile to belong to therapy — on an individual basis or as a dyad . A therapist can assistant you image out the extraction behind your codependent habit and helper you set up and defend tenacious - full term riding habit that back up your journey toward guarantee adhesion .   When we can take account our cooperator for who they are instead of what they can open us , we can reimagine and worry attune family relationship in an integrate path .