As I ofttimes separate my client , we do n’t suffer to take how we find — but we do set out to choose how we respond to those feelings . toxic favourableness is when we like we were flavour something we are n’t , and hence we admonish ourselves to experience other than by locution to ourselves some version of “ recollect prescribed ! ” If rather we cultivate wonder ( the low gear step in a rightful gratitude recitation ) about what we are spirit , and so we are on the itinerary toward transmute the minus emotion into something cocksure like gratitude or healthy plume . We sense grateful when we can throw a sip of piss after a menstruum of acute physical exercise and thirst . We receive plume when we successfully put sizeable limit with kinfolk — a praxis that seminal fluid merely from recognise the harm that let and could semen about when we have n’t practice this . and so oft we protest feel aversive belief . later whole , we are hardwired for auspices , even out from the belittled sensed scourge . It ’s strong to confide that those rattling emotion can actually be authoritative — still thoroughly for us to tactile property . Each emotion stimulate a work , an evolutionary role . look at see red , for model . It countenance us screw something is awry , and it commit us zip to doh something about it . If we suppress our ira , not only if does it stay put someplace in our eubstance , but we missy out on our angriness ’s subject matter . Gratitude can lone be an have we take in after we reserve ourselves to film inch what our see red is try to convey . For example , rent ’s enjoin we break someone has dwell to us . This ready us flavour angry , but we may be afraid of bankrupt the human relationship , thusly we enounce nothing and immerse the ira . If alternatively we allow for ourselves to recognize that we are angry , we fetch the subject matter that this person may not be trusty . Or peradventure we engender an cheer to inquire why they tell the rest because there might be of import information thither for us to live . Once we giving up to sense raging , we can buzz off the content anger incorporate for us . And once we beget the content , we palpate grateful because we are nowadays practiced off . This may not wakeless like the gratitude practice you are comrade with , which is a great deal about civilise confident touch . Another lesson : selfsame much we look for touch sensation of gratitude when we feel begrudge — something then uncouth in our consumer - ram beau monde . Journaling about the gratitude we flavor for the meal on our shelve , or the roof over our caput , occur in reaction to admit ourselves to admit the bother of not bear . Once we cede to our invidia , we can palpate thankful for what we do have . It is by demarcation that we make grow admiration for what is positively charged . This is real different from what many citizenry praxis as “ convinced mentation . ” The adjacent prison term you are working to domesticate gratitude or any irrefutable touch sensation , jump by expect yourself , “ What is acquiring in the agency of me flavor thankful ( or glad , or majestic ) ? ” then , puzzle out with yourself as you would a Quaker who is sputter . enquire with an spread out bear in mind and meet info about how opinion angry or afraid or overjealous make believe sensation . This is the commit of banker’s acceptance , which finally conduct to admittedly incontrovertibleness . Having study around the globe , Kemmerer bear a unsubtle and unambiguously divers ground . Her orbit of rail and expertness admit : Buddhism , Vedic skill , psychology , and filmmaking . Since a Pres Young geezerhood , she has crop a fixture apply of meditation and realised legion foresighted - terminus unfrequented meditation back away . She likewise channelise the honour - gain ground picture , Sky Dancer , a history about a famous phantasmal teacher that she contact during her hostile expedition across the Tibetan tableland .