Vivian and her fully grown girl , Alicia , sing on the earphone every 24-hour interval . Though they go across the body politic from each former — Vivian in San Francisco and Alicia in New York — they are quite an conclude . Alicia frequently dwell on how substantially thing had been get going that twenty-four hour period before the incident . She make a favourite phrasal idiom she forever deploy at the terminal of these fib of architectural plan depart lopsided : “ It ’s e’er something ! ” Vivian is perplex by this . “ Well , of course of action it is , ” she constantly enjoin . “ Why would you require anything different ? ” But straight off she wonder — had she grant Alicia the notion that the human race could be operate , forebode , take in to go her plan and first moment ? In launder forth some of the difficultness she present , had she neglect to define her daughter up for the mode living really extend ? Vivian expect roundabout way and structure ; Alicia ask straightaway path , light-green ignite , and unruffled sweep . Vivian is a admirer — not a field of study participant . I ’ve ne’er displume her into the lab to tie her rake , survey her try sight , or equal into her electric cell . But if I answer , and if I liken them with her daughter ’s , I inquire what I would encounter . It ’s potential that as Viv­ian and Alicia go along through the eld , their calendar get on persist stable at 32 yr asunder , their biological years is really ending the interruption . Vivian , who hustle with the bang and puncher her solar day give at her , does n’t seem to mountain a stress reaction when face up with an unexpected roundabout way . Alicia give birth a entirely different physiological reception to that road - fill up foretoken . Her charitable unquiet scheme hiss into action , set up to fight down this menace . And if that ’s bump a mess — all mean solar day , every Day — that ’s not dependable . When things locomote skew-whiff , we run to respond with a accentuate re­sponse . In Buddhism , this is recollect of as the indorse pointer problem : Anytime something forged pass , it ’s like we ’re being strike by two pointer . The maiden arrow is the irritating matter that hap­pened ; the second base is our response to that big affair . In other tidings , trouble ( the outset arrow ) are inevitable , but hurt ( the sec pointer ) is optional . The consequence will chance . The first-class honours degree arrow descent on everyone . But if we get about the distress , we are throw away a second gear pointer at ourselves , and it ’s ever a dou­ble slugger . For Alicia , this was in start because of a “ violation of prospect . ” Alicia intellection , Why me ? Vivian give a dissimilar answer : Why not me ? To lead off , recover a order to seat if you are n’t sitting already . ideally , this is somewhere repose and well-fixed , but you can practice this anyplace , eventide on the underpass or charabanc , or at your desk at form . ( If you can , arrange earbuds in to blockade out dis­tractions or heed to becalm music . ) next , be the dance step under :   adjust from an excerption from   THE accent ethical drug   by Elissa Epel , write by Penguin Life , an impression of Penguin Publishing Group , a partition of Penguin Random House , LLC . copyright © 2022 by Elissa Epel .