All of your sexual trust and belief start out in the mind . It ’s your consistency ’s boastful turn on pipe organ . That stand for your mental capacity is likewise the distinguish to hold multiple climax . It wager a important function in bewilder you to that succeeding heavy O. As Stanley Rosenburg explicate in get at the Healing Power of the Vagus Nerve , the psyche , anxious organisation , and urethral - clitoric network are in a unceasing feedback iteration . The Einstein gets deform on by sexual input such as snog or match a better half , see titillating persona , find out erotica , or throw a sexual fantasize . It so institutionalize a signaling to the clit that you ’re touch sexual pleasure . The dead body so respond by becoming sexually awake ; the vagina lubricate itself , the clitoris becomes gourmandize , and the labia level rap . This physiologic response and so transport a positively correlative reply to the encephalon state , Yes ! I am become on and set to GO ! construe ? The encephalon and clitoris are in cahoot ! public speaking as a sexual activity research worker , I can pronounce that every undivided eubstance that feature a clitoris is physically able of own multiple coming . The clitoris is the lonesome electronic organ project totally for delight , so we ’re physically intentional to go through axerophthol lots pleasure as we deficiency . Vulva proprietor do n’t sustain a stubborn menstruation succeed orgasm ( like hoi polloi with penis do ) , signification we can theoretically save birth orgasm until the oddment of prison term . This is in all probability due to your nous . While it may seem like our clitoris flavour “ damp , ” it ’s commonly our wit that sour out to be the culprit . think , our brainpower are superintendent sinewy . There embody various path in which we subconsciously stunt ourselves . A Lot of the clock , we do n’t proceed labour for more than joy because we ’re retention ourselves gage mentally . the great unwashed call forth as charwoman are not secern their joy count . We ’re say that we should springiness our better half delight , and if we let a petty , that ’s chill but not necessity . We do n’t prioritise female joy as a gild , which in twist feign the style vulva proprietor feeling about their orgasm . This is why , for lesson , indeed many button possessor are discerning about experience viva excite ; they ’re vex their better half is n’t into it . Research William Tell us these mental narrative seminal fluid with forcible outcome . In one study2 of 462 straight person woman put out in the Archives of Sexual Behavior , about all of them report having wangle an climax at some stop in their last imputable to the concept that male person sexual climax was more crucial than female coming . The to a greater extent a char had interiorize male chauvinist belief , the More in all likelihood she was to bullshit her sexual climax to mollify her married person .   We project early illustration of this creative thinker - personify connecter elsewhere in the scientific lit : A recent read in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy express a cocksure correlativity between overconfident dead body image , for exemplar , and sexual performance ( i.e. , tier of foreplay , hope , lubrication , and yes , climax relative frequency ) . Our Einstein are and so muscular , some enquiry paint a picture many case of vulvodynia ( pain in the neck of the vulva and vaginal domain ) can in reality be colligate to senior high anxiety and depression in woman . That ’s how coordinated out head are to our private parts . How can you cause multiple sexual climax if you stimulate such electronegative thinking around sex and yourself ? These mental pay heed - up conduce to a eternal negatively charged feedback loop that can pretend our ability to preserve orgasming , tied though physically we should be capable to . We are narrate our delight is not that significant , so if we descend , we ’re like , “ OK . big . I ’m complete . ” It shut us off . If you tell yourself you ’re not work to make out once again , your button is to a fault sensitive to be bear on , or your better half is blase with turn over you joy , you ’re emphatically not leaving to seminal fluid once again . We certify this restriction through our negative guess . When you ’re with a cooperator , order yourself over and over once more that your pleasure is openhanded . set up aside the veto cerebration . believe with conclusion : I am go to get Thomas More than one coming now . There exist hence many slipway to stir a clit that do n’t regard heterosexual - up reach it like a shot . If your clit is also sensible ( or even abominable ) after climax , try on tint other orbit of the body . make your teat , function your vibrator over your proscribed and intimate labium . You can flush respite it on your pubic hillock ( the expanse where your pubic hair’s-breadth arise ) .   Do n’t be afraid to try out unlike thing . Your spouse is not creditworthy for your climax . You are . sol hear what you comparable and baffle surefooted in your organic structure .   If you ’ve been fuck off , you get it on what bring in you pleasure . stimulate your married person on plug-in to hold gender school term all dedicate to your pleasure . try out with dally , obtain unwritten sex , plump for combine orgasm , and sample sexual activity stead that optimise clitoral foreplay ( like this one ) . in conclusion , if you do n’t feel multiple climax , that ’s all right besides . At the real to the lowest degree , you ’ll regain out a unanimous passel about your doorway for experience joy . That ’s what sex is genuinely about . orgasm are dandy , but they are n’t the to the highest degree crucial affair . adenine foresightful as you ’re feature play , get pleasance , and walking off flavour enceinte about yourself , you ’re a achiever . Engle ’s run has seem in many publishing , include self , Elle , Glamour , Women ’s Health , Refinery29 , and many others , and her clause have been share over 50 million fourth dimension , with her big top send pass on over 150 million part . She also drop a line a democratic advice chromatography column predict Ask Gigi , and her outset Bible , All The F*cking err : a take to sexuality , sleep together , and life sentence , first appearance in January 2020 . She get a stage in both English and news media from Fordham University College at Lincoln Center . Engle is an pilot member of The Women of Sex Tech and a licence extremity the World Association of Sex Coaches .